It’s almost April. APRIL. Where has 2012 gone?!? All of a sudden, we’re on the doorstep of Spring and soon it’ll be time to drive around with the windows down. Preferably, new tunes will be wafting from your speakers. Here, I present to you a quick info-dump of highlights, lowlights and curiosities that will be released in the coming fiscal quarter. It’s not going to be a stellar year, judging from this batch. But with the lack of Blockbuster Albums, I’m sure the bulk of these will be Pretty-Good Albums. Get your bittorrent clients ready…
The Good (AKA, What You Should Be Excited For):
Let’s start with the stuff I’m most excited for…
–The Shins, Port of Morrow (March 20): it’s already out, but let us remind you one more time.
–Mars Volta, Noctourniquet (March 27): At The Drive-In reunite AND Mars Volta have a new album? Sparta fans hang their heads and pout (cue George Michael’s Snoopy-walk…).
–Cowboy Junkies, Wilderness (March 27): is it too much to hope for another “Common Disaster”?
–Of Monsters and Men, My Head is an Animal (April 3): it’s already out in Iceland (and you can find it online), but the US release has a new album cover. You should pick up any version you can get your hands on. This is a beautiful, beautiful album.
–Jack White, Blunderbuss (April 24): judging from what we’ve heard thus far, this should be great for White Stripes fans (Dead Weather and Raconteurs fans are not as important).
–The Dandy Warhols, This Machine (April 24): this band is so underrated it’s not even funny. With a discography of solid albums under their collective freak-boho belts, this should be another good set.
–Santigold, Master of My Make Believe (May 1): it’s been 4 years (FOUR!!!) since her phenomenal debut. The first few tastes we’ve received are promising, so this should be another funky, catchy set from NYC’s M.I.A.
–Keane, Strangeland (May 8): they’ve never disappointed me and I’m hoping this will be another album’s worth of catchy hooks and heartbreaking whining.
–Silversun Pickups, Neck of the Woods (May 8): their last album was one of my top 3 of 2009. Between this and the new Keane, May 8th is going to be sweet (cue Cube)
–Garbage, Not Your Kind of People (May 15): the first single, “Blood For Poppies”, is not enough to inspire my inner fire, but hopefully the rest of the album will be a solid return to their self-titled album and not another shitshow like beautifulgarbage.
–Tenacious D, Rize of the Fenix (May 15): yes, YES YES YES.
But it’s not just about the shit that I enjoy. I’m the populist of this blog, so I have to mention a few other notable newbies.
For pop fans — certainly there are none of those here — Madonna has that new one coming out, if you were unawares because you live under that rock. I cannot wait for this album, as Madonna can do no wrong in my book. Also Katy Perry‘s re-release of Teenage Dream and Nicki Minaj‘s new set of insane schizoid rap. The Idol crew have new sets from Adam Lambert, Carrie Underwood and Clay Aiken.
For old farts and fans of old people music, Santana‘s dropping a new one on May 15 and my Bizzarro-world alter ego (see: Neil Young) and band Crazy Horse will drop Americana, the first album in nearly a decade, on June 5.
For the more high brow and/or too-cool-for-school, we’ve got M. Ward, Elvis Costello, Regina Spektor and a pair of Damon Albarn goodies (this guy cannot rest!) on Rocket Juice and the Moon (March 27) and Dr. Dee, which is about some forgotten 16th century British scientist, on May 8. Ugh, stick to Blur and Gorillaz, pleeeeease…
The Bad (AKA, Things That I Believe Should Never Be Released, AAKA, Did Anyone Ask For This???)
–Chris Brown‘s latest audio abortion… can we please be rid of him already?
–Marilyn Manson, Born Villain (May 1): I’ve been a diehard fan since Portrait, but how much bullshit can one fan endure? It’s been almost a decade since he’s released anything worth listening to and almost half a decade since releasing anything I could sit through without wanting to burn all of my old t-shirts and import singles. Sigh… he needs to just give up already and OD. What a waste of talent…
In other past-their-prime news, for the withering and aged rockers amongst you, Ministry (March 27) and Van Halen (out now) beckon. Sigh…
The Curious (AKA, WTF?, AAKA, They’re Still Around?!?, AAAKA, Wow, Someone Needs Money…)
These aren’t necessarily awful (who am I to judge?) but they had me scratching my head…
First off, it is apparently ’90s throwback time. Both Monica and SWV have new albums coming out, as if anyone asked for these. If only Aaliyah and Left-Eye were still with us, we’d have a more A-level pair of comebacks to look forward to. Ashanti is also trying to get back in the game. If Ja Rule thinks the world is waiting for new material from him as well, may God help us all.
On that note, it might also be time for an early ‘oos screamo/skatepunk revival. I have nothing against this batch, as I may or may not have some of their stuff in my library, but seriously, I had no idea these groups were still in existence. So, Warped Tour kidz, get ready for new Operation Ivy, Mxpx, Taproot, Anberlin and *drumroll* THE USED. You know Yellowcard dropped a new album last year, right? No? Well then, that does not bode well for these folks…
Counting Crows and Train will also drop mediocre new albums for the soccer mom masses, but what I’m truly, truly excited for are two records that nobody asked for: Candlebox (April 3) and Eve 6 (April 24). Oh yeeaaaah!!! Remember them? Yeah, exactly. Our Lady Peace is also making a comeback with Curve (April 17) which I’m kinda excited for. If this opens the floodgates to Seven Mary Three, Sponge, Marcy Playground or Everclear, that Mayan apocalypse thing might not be such a bad idea.
LOL. This is not an April Fool’s joke.